Daniel - Part 1

DANIEL – Part 1

Well I suppose if you are going to listen to my story, you had better hear about me first.

Let me see now.  I am twenty-eight and Jewish.  The latter part is very important as the story will unfold but as I am typing this suddenly I can’t think of anything else to say. 

Well, I live in London, born in Israel, live in Hendon.  This sounds so, so boring but then I am boring at the moment.  Have a boring job.  Work with my mum.  My mum started up a cleaning agency years ago.  She organises for cleaners and au pairs to obviously clean for people.  I do it too but nowadays it is more computerized.  I set up the whole system and nearly run the business.  Unfortunately there are times when we cannot get a cleaner to come as an emergency and then I have to don my special cleaner’s outfit and I go and clean the house.  They always want me back.  HAAA some hope.

Daniel, Part 2

DANIEL part 2

I sat picking at my Caesars salad looking at Dan consume a “humungous “steak, salad and lots of crispy thin French fries.  Periodically he stopped eating, picked up a French fry, dipped it in the creamy mayonnaise and placed it in my mouth.

I sat there not believing what I was thinking.  Apart from the fact that I was really attracted to this person and so SOON, he was really nice.  He was just what I wanted – HOWEVER, back to the point.  How could they do that to me?  They should have told me.  Would I have agreed to meet him if I had known?  I am actually not sure but may be if I had agreed, I would have been a lot more nervous about it.  I suppose this is better, I do like him so what is the problem?

The problem is, I thought getting back to reality as I saw Dan manoeuvre himself uncomfortably in the seat is that the man sitting next to me, who I was on the verge of having a relationship with, cannot walk.  Not only that, I don’t know what he can or can’t do and I am definitely not going to ask him.  Would I feel embarrassed to be seen with him? Would I introduce him to my friends? What about my nieces and nephews.  What happened if they said something to him that was well .... awkward?

Daniel clicked his fingers in front of me.  “Sara” he said “you are day dreaming.  Do you want a dessert?”

“Aw sorry” I stuttered.  “A little habit of mine.  Um, do you want to share something chocolately?”

We ordered.

“Do you want me to give you a lift home” Daniel said finally.  We had been sitting at the table for two hours, talking, thinking and really just enjoying being with each other.

“If you could” I said “if you don’t mind”.  He paused for a second.  “Would you like to come and see my flat?  You don’t have to if it is too late for you but I thought maybe we could sit on the balcony.  It is a lovely evening?”

“I would love that” I answered honestly and I found myself getting into his Portia and heading towards Maida Vale.

Daniel lived in a stainless steel “Lego” block of flats.  The type of building that when I was looking to buy my flat, I would not have considered in a million years.  I was the type of person that would rather have lived in a hovel, just so long as it had the original features and certainly the original front door that it was built with.

I changed my mind as soon as I saw the inside of his home.  It was huge, modern and airy and so light in comparison to my dark dungeon.  In the middle of the lounge was the biggest white leather sofa that I had ever seen.  It was el-shaped and the “el” bit was so wide that people could comfortably lie down and use it as a bed.

“I love this” I said sitting down. 

“It is great isn’t it?  One good thing about being single is that I could order white leather and it won’t get ruined.  It is so extravagant.  Sit down; I’ll be back in a moment”.

He must have gone to the bathroom.  I started to look around.  His flat was exactly what I would have expected from a bachelor pad.  Quite stark, no women’s’ touch but nice and well clean I thought, but actually I decided it was unlived in.  Just like a hotel room really.  Nice, new, but unlived in.  He must spend a lot of time at work I thought.

He came back and laid down on the el part of the soft and patted next to me.  I slipped off my shoes and lay next to him.  He put his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head comfortably just below his right shoulder.  I sighed happily and realised that after such a short time that this is where I wanted to be.

Dan flicked a button on a remote control and turned on Classic FM or may be Radio 3, can’t remember but what I can remember and will always remember is Rachmaninov floating around the room.  He put his head down and kissed me on my forehead.  I look up into his eyes and we kissed again.

“I don’t know what is happening” he said.  “Me neither” I agreed.  “Daniel, I have to be honest with you”.  He looked at me sadly for a moment “No” I said holding his hand “I like you .... a lot but I’ve only just met you.  I am ...”I searched for the right words. 

“I mean I think, I don’t even know you but I really think that I am falling for you and I don’t know anything about anything.  I don’t know how you feel but I suspect you may be like me because otherwise I wouldn’t feel comfortable even telling you this.  I’m sorry, if you want me to go I will”.

“Sara please stop.  I know what you are saying.  I feel really comfortable, amazing with you.  I just want to take you in my arms, make love to you, never let you go, but I’m not going to.  Let’s for the moment just lie here and be together”.  We kissed and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

I woke up the next morning in his arms.  I awoke first and watched him asleep.  I cannot begin to describe to you how I felt.  Whether anyone would understand this feeling after six or eight hours I do not know but I felt that this was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  My head spun.  I knew I was in love again.  This had only happened once before, so long ago when I was young and innocent but I did love, have loved and people that have given their love will always love again, so I hoped.

Dan stirred and smiled at me.  “You stayed”.  I kissed him.  “I did” I said kissing him again.  I sat up and went to sit on him.  He bolted up quickly.  “Hold on” and quickly manoeuvred himself into his chair and went to the bathroom.

He came back in five minutes “Look Sara I’m sorry.  The thing is, we can never be, well part of it is that “I put my fingers over his lips “I realised, its fine” I kissed him “can I come back now?” He nodded and I sat on his lap and kissed him.

His body felt strong and muscular.  His upper half anyway.  As I traced my hands down under his tee-shirt I could feel the softness of his skin and lack of muscle firmness under his belly button.

“Is where you can’t feel?” I asked.  He nodded a little solemnly.  “You can’t feel anything? I said getting lower.  He held my hand down.  “No.  I can’t feel anything”.

“I can make love” he said quickly “but again it may take planning, sometimes not, you just can’t tell.  Just tell me now and I think I know the answer otherwise I wouldn’t ask, do you want to see me again?”

I looked at him and didn’t even wait a second of a pause “of course I do.  Don’t be silly”.

“So do you think you would be willing to, I don’t know how to put this,”

“You know how I want to ask you things and you interrupt me and answer the question I was dying to ask?” he nodded smiling slightly “well do you want to say am I willing to work with you and eventually we can make love and work it out, and get it perfect etc etc etc”, he kissed me.  “Well the answer is yes of course”.

Daniel part 3

We became inseparable, after six hours.  I wanted to know everything about him as quickly as possible.  I felt that we were absolutely meant to be together but I knew nothing about him.

“Tell me about your parents” I asked.  “How come your aunt is religious and yet your mother lives in the middle of the country married to your father who is not even Jewish”.

He smiled at me.  Well it is a very long story.  My grandfather, Beate’s father was Austrian and a doctor”. 

“My mother was originally Austrian” I told him.  “They came to Israel just before the second world war and her father was also a doctor.  What a coincidence”.

“Well my grandfather didn’t want to leave Austria and like thousands of others, he thought that all the anti-semitism would just die out.  He left it so long to leave that they didn’t think they could get out.  The one hope was to get the children out.  He arranged for his old friend from medical school to sponsor the children.  That was Beate who was about eight, Hans who was about six and my mother who was four.  Anyway, his friend and his wife had two sons and took the three kids.  My grandfather thought they would get out eventually and join them.

Well of course neither of them got out at all and after the war the Red Cross told them that they had died.  My father’s friend brought up those three children as his own and educated them how each individual child needed to be educated.  He sent Beate to secretarial school, Hans to Yeshiva (he was into religion) and my mother, well that is a whole different story.

My mother was only little when she came to England.  She thought of her new mother as her only mother.  She didn’t have much experience of Judaism and when it was introduced to her, she just couldn’t relate to it.

She aspired to be a country housewife like her new mother and achieved it.  I told you the new family had two sons, well the eldest was ten years older than my mother.  He always thought of her as a baby until one day, he came home from travelling Europe one summer and saw that my mother had grown up.  He broke off his engagement and they married”.

“So,” I repeated “your mother married the elder of her two new brothers?” He nodded “that is actually so romantic.  Were they happy together?”

“They are a very loving couple, a little too loving at times” he said.  “How can they be too loving?” I asked “you will see” he replied.

I was happy.  “You will see” means he is going to introduce me to his parents.

“What about your parents?” he asked.

“Well, as I said my mother was born in Vienna and her parents escaped to Israel.  My grandma thought that she was the elite living in Israel, well still does as a matter of fact.  They are a very arrogant family.  They managed to get loads of money out of Austria (who knows how) and bought a nice house which she still lives in.  Prime Tel-Aviv real estate.  When she finally moves out or dies, they will be offered millions and a huge hotel will go in its place.

Anyway, after the war, one day my mother was looking out of her bedroom window and she saw a boy/man, whatever, fixing a motor bike.  She thought he was very good looking, dark, very Sabra looking.  He looked up and smiled at her and then he drove off.

She made it her life’s work to find him.  My grandmother hated him.  My father is Greek.  He is from Salonika in Greece and when the Nazis came they hid out in the mountains for years.  My grandma didn’t think he was good enough for my mother and still doesn’t as a matter of fact.

My mother’s family were academics.  He was a mechanic and a builder now.  Well, he owns a building company.  Even though they have made a nice life for themselves, it is not good enough for my grandma.  She hates him.”

“It is that Austrian arrogance.  My mother lost that when she came here but Beate has it of course.  Are you scared about us?” He asked as he changed the subject.

“Yes” I said bluntly “I am.  I am scared about getting hurt.  I am scared about hurting you.  I am scared about taking this too quickly although that is the only way for me to go here.  I’m sorry”.

Before I could answer my mobile rang.  I could tell by the ring, it was my mother.  “My mother” I announced “I will take this and for you to listen I will speak in English and not Ivrit”.  “You don’t have to” he said but I did anyway.

“Hello mother” I said

“in English, where are you? Why are you talking in English”.

“Because I always think it is very RUDE to talk in another language in mixed company”.

“Where are you?

“I am with Dan actually” I answered.

“Really, this early.  Did you stay the night?”

“Yes I did stay the night?”

There was a very long pause.

“Oh.  Why didn’t you come home?”

“I didn’t want to come home.  I was having a nice time here”.

Silence again.

“Um, did you happen to notice that well ....”

“Notice what mummy?”

I held my hand over the phone “I think she is going to ask me if I noticed that you use a wheelchair I’m not sure”.

“I think you may have noticed that” said Dan, “you may be a little short sighted but there is a possibility that you might of tripped over it”.

“Well Beate told me that he can’t walk.  She said that sometimes he walks with crutches? Is this true”. 

“Hold on mum” I answered deliberately repeating back the last bit so that Dan could hear what she just said “Did you say that this Beate said that sometimes Daniel walks with crutches, implying that sometimes he doesn’t need to”.

“Yes??” she said “so what.  He was in an accident a while ago and sometimes I suppose his legs get tired”.  This last bit Dan actually heard.  “So” I thought “my mother didn’t know either after all” but then of course that meant that my mother was not going to be too thrilled with the situation, I was certainly sure about that.

“no mum” I said quietly.  “That is not exactly how it is.  Whether Dan uses crutches or not I haven’t seen as yet but the rest of the time he uses a wheelchair.”  Dan and I looked at each other and waited for her reaction.

“Do you realise?” he whispered, “this is your first time about explaining about me to people.  This will happen a lot”. 

“I don’t care” I replied “I think you are going to be worth it”.

“Oh “ said my mother.  “I didn’t realise.  Well ...” I think she was speechless.  “Did you like him anyway?” 

“Yes” I smiled “I really like him, really, really like him”.

Daniel - Part 4

“Do you want me to make you breakfast or something?” I asked him.

“Something is right.  I haven’t got any food at all.  I hardly eat here”.

“That I can see” I said looking around.

“What do you mean?” 

“This place is spotless.  Unlived in.  Where do you actually live?”

“no, I do actually live here.  Go and look in my bedroom and you will see.  It is just that I get up, go to the gym which is downstairs incidentally.  I have a swim, go to work.  Work late, go out or come home and go to bed”.

“Oh.  My flat is not like this at all.  I LOOOOVE my flat but you won’t like it”.

“Why?” he asked.  “Can I get into it?”

“Oh yes” I smiled.  “You can definitely get it.  It is an art deco block with the old type of lift with glass doors.  The management try to modernise them every year but all the residents veto it”.

“Do you own it?” he asked.  “I do” I said proudly.  I must be the youngest resident.  All the rest have been there since it was built in 1932.  There are four blocks built around a green and in the evenings all the old ladies sit on deck chairs talking and gossiping.”

“It sound “wonderful” but why wouldn’t I like it?” he asked quizzically.

“It is cluttered with my books, things, whatever you want to find, you can on all the shelves.  Your home is immaculately tidy, uncluttered.  Are you trying to sell it or something?  This must be an estate agent’s dream?”

“No I’m not trying to sell it.  Go and look in the bedroom and you will see.  It is very large for one person.  I hardly use this room.  It was nice to finally snuggle up on the sofa”.

I nodded.  I was nice.  “What about coffee? Do you have any coffee, you have an amazing Gaggia machine.  Do you have an Espresso at all?”

He looked at me blankly.  “I tell you what, let me go to the gym and I will take you home and out for breakfast and shall we go shopping for coffee and whatever you would like to drink?” I nodded happily as I followed him down to the gym.

We went in the lift down to the basement.  The basement was a gym with a large heated pool at the side behind glass doors.  “Can you use the same equipment as everyone else?” I tried to ask him tactfully.

“No.  The things I use are for me and for me only.  I had to buy them.  As you are here can you help me?”  I nodded.

“I want to lift these weights but I need you to hold down my legs? Is that okay?” he looked at me trying I think to gauge if I had a problem with this.  “Of course not” I told him.

He lied down on the ground and straightened out his legs.  “Shall I hold them or sit on them?” I asked.  “Let’s see” he said and started to lift.  I found myself twirling the hairs on his legs and massaging the lifeless muscles that were dwindling in his lower legs.  I saw him looking and without thinking I bent down and kissed his upper left thigh.

He put down the weights and pulled himself up and kissed me.  I sat on his lap and wrapped my legs around his waist.  I could feel the magnetism between us pulling us away and then moving us closer and closer and closer.  I was falling in love with him.  I could feel it.  It had happened to me this quickly before but that was then this is now.

I pulled my mouth away from his as someone else opened the door of the gym and walked through to go in the pool.  I put my arms around his wide muscular waist and put my head on his chest and I felt his head bending down and kissing my hair.

He lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes.  “I’m falling in love with you.  Do you think that ..., I mean is this going  ...”

I hugged him closer and looked up at him.  “Daniel, I just don’t want any of this to end.  I can’t see it as a problem.  I can see it is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Come up with me, I’ll have a shower and I’ll take you home for a while and then we’ll go out”.  I nodded.  “Can I come in the shower with you?” I asked tentatively.

He paused.  “But I don’t want to spoil anything”.  It’s not that easy”.

“I told you from the beginning, if I can’t deal with stuff, then I’m not worth having come on.  I want to feel you, I want to touch you, please” I half begged.

The truth was, well, I didn’t usually just jump into bed with anyone; I hadn’t slept with anyone for years for starters, certainly not casually.  I was always in a relationship when I had sex but this time I just wanted to get that bit over with.  Find out whether  it was going to be good, whether it was going to be possible.  I was certain the way I felt that it would be okay but from Dan’s side, he probably felt that he had to prove himself.  He probably felt that he may fail.  It would be much worse for him.

“Look” I said stroking his face “I just want to be with you.  We don’t have to do anything.  Let me just”  I stopped and looked at this face “Oh Dan, I know it must be hard for you but the truth is ...”

“Do you want to get this bit over and done with so that you know whether you want to carry on?”

“No, I want to carry on” I nearly cried “I do.  I think it will be great but I just want to make sure and then, well, it will be great.  You will see.  I LOVE YOU DAN.  Already I can tell that I LOVE YOU.  It is going to be great I LOVE YOU.  I can’t believe I am saying those words again after years and years.”

He held me in his arms and kissed me.  He then transferred back to his chair and I sat on his lap cuddling him as we made our way back to his flat.

He wheeled me into his bedroom and I sat on the bed whilst he went to the bathroom.  Now I could see the real Dan.  This room was a mess.  An overflowing laundry basket.  A few bits of clothing on the floor, surfaces covered with aftershave all with the tops off discarded.  A few photos, nothing with dust on, nothing dirty apart from the laundry.  “He must have a cleaner that comes in once or twice a week.  He probably doesn’t tidy himself at all.”

“Daniel” I called into him.  I found myself calling Daniel when I had a complaint.  “Do you have a washing machine?”

“Yes” he replied “in the kitchen.  Why?”

“Don’t you ever use it?”

“Oh the cleaner does it.  She comes twice a week”.

“Your basket is overflowing.  Do you want me to put a load on now?  You must be running out of clothes.”

“If you want to” he called and then added “thank you” as an added extra.

I found myself gathering up his washing and taking it into the kitchen.  I looked around for washing powder and of course found it in a cupboard low down for him to reach it.  As I placed his clothes in the wash I sniffed his after shave and found me inhaling one of his shirts.  “Yes” I thought I definitely love this man to be sniffing is dirty clothes.

I walked back into the bedroom and he was naked in his chair except for a towel which he placed on his lap.

“Are you coming then, if you still want to?” he said looking at me half pleadingly.  I silently began to remove my clothes and then climbed on his lap and let our naked skin brush against each other.  He kissed me again and then said “I want everything to be perfect and it isn’t going to be”.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing is perfect Dan.  Life is not perfect but it is perfect how we met and how we like, no love each other already, don’t worry.  Everything is going to be fine”.

We went into his bathroom which was a large flat room with no bath.  The walls were decorated with large white tiles with a border of divine small green and blue mosaics.  The room was more or less a wet room with a shower in the middle and right underneath the strongest jet was a chair.  “I have to use that” he said pointing to the chair.  I nodded and got off his lap to enable him to get in the chair.

He said down and pressed a button and the water started shooting in all directions.  I climbed on his lap and as the water started to fall on long rivulets over our bodies we started to kiss.

Daniel - Part 5

We went back to the bedroom and lay on the bed together.  I laid there quietly thinking about what had just happened.  I was 28 years old and no one but no one had made me feel like that.  I looked at him “Daniel” I said.  “I told you it would be good didn’t I? I knew”

He kissed me.  “But anything else, it can’t just happen that way.  I have to take medication to you know.  Usually anyway”.

“You mean something like Viagra”.  He nodded.  “Yes like an old man with prostate problems.  I saw some in my parents’ bathroom”. 

“Oh Danny, you shouldn’t look in peoples bathroom cabinets then should you?  When you use that, can you feel anything though” I asked.

“No of course not.  Never.  I can’t even feel when I get an erection” he admitted sadly.

“Then is there any point in taking it.  I liked, loved what you did just fine”.

“Well it depends. Depends on what you like, what you want.  I remember the first time I got an erection, it made me feel like a man again.  Pathetic isn’t it?”

“No, nothing is pathetic.  What you feel is what you feel”.  I wanted to tell him that my mother had had a mastectomy and didn’t feel like a woman again until she had her bust rebuilt.  That is the same thing isn’t it?

“Danny?” I began.

“I love it when you call me Danny.  My mother used to call me that when I was little.”  He snuggled up next to me.

“Danny” I continued you.  “I know it is only less than 24 hours but I love you and I know I will always love you.  It is ridiculous.  I just want to stay here all day.  I just want to be with you.”

“I love you too but for the time being, let’s keep this to ourselves”.

“What do you mean” I stammered sitting up.  “What are you talking about?  Are you ashamed of me or something?”

“No, NO he said hurriedly.  I swear I didn’t mean it like that.  I promise you that I will show you to the world, I just meant let’s not tell people that we are in love.  No one would understand.  I wouldn’t if my best friend said he met someone and that this is the one etc.  I would say, don’t be too hasty etc etc.  Come on, think about it”.

I stopped in my tracks.  “What do you mean, this is the one? Do you think I AM THE ONE?  Danny tell me what you are thinking and I will stop, I’ll do what you say.”

“Yes” he said slightly resigned.  “I hate to admit that at this early juncture in our relationship I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I am even considering asking you .....”

“Where to?” I asked and then the phone rang.  “My mother”.

“Sara? You are not at home”.

“I know.  I’m not at home” I replied in English.

“Still in English.  You are with him.  I just saw Beate at the chemist and she said that his phone is switched off.”

“Yes and mine should be too” I replied.  “I am still with him and in a moment he is bringing me home to get my things.  Thank you very much for introducing us, you and Auntie Beate.  I am more than grateful to you but in the meantime mum, please stop phoning me.”

“Well” my mother replied.  “I am only trying to find out what is going on.  If you don’t tell us Beate will phone him on his home phone.”

“Is she with you” I asked.  Silence from my mother and then “yes she is here”.

Dan could hear the whole conversation and then took the phone away from me.  “Mrs Cohen (luckily he had asked my surname).  This is Dan how are you?”

“Very well” she replied “Thank G-D”.

“Can I speak to my aunt please?”

My mother must have passed the phone over to her friend.

“Hello aunty?” Dan said.

“Yes, yes, yes and thank you.  I will ask her hold one.”  He looked at me.  “Would you like to come for dinner next Friday night to my Aunt’s house?  Apparently your parents are going too?”  I looked at him confused, “are you invited to this little soiree?”

“Am I invited too Aunty?” he asked.

“Of course apparently” he said smirking.  He put his hand over the phone.

“Do you really want to meet my parents?” I asked him.

“I was going to ask you to come to the country tomorrow and meet mine???”

I took the phone away from him.  “Yes thank you.  We would love to come”.

Daniel - Part 6

We went back to my flat and he looked around.  “Your flat is so much more lived it but I certainly don’t hate it.   It is much more cluttered than mine but sooo much  more lived it.  I really like it.  It has got so much ... character.  You have a lot of style babes” he said holding his arms out to me.

“How many bedrooms does this have?”

“Three” I answered.  “It is quite large isn’t it” My father gave my sister and me money when he semi-retired.  She spent hers on her wedding and I spent it on a deposit for this flat.”

“Does someone else live here” he asked looking around.  As he came through the front door he may have seen a leather jacket and a few other items that couldn’t have possibily been mine.

“Yes” I answered.  “I have a flat mate called Mike.  I think he is out at the moment though”.

He looked at me.  “Has anything ever happened between you two?”

“Doubtfully” I answered.  “Number one I grew up with Mike and number two, I think you will find that he is hopelessly in love with DAVE.  In other words, yes, he is undoubably GAY”.

I could see Dan relax slightly.  I came and sat with him.  “You do not have to worry about anything like that.  Now, let me pack some things.  What shall I wear tomorrow to see your parents.  What will we do in the country”.

“Well sometimes we could go for long walks in the woods.  I have a special outdoor chair and a hand bike but tomorrow I thought we could just, I don’t know walk around the village, my mother will make lunch and don’t worry, she has a kosher supply of meat courtesy of my aunt who is also kosher.  I will warn her in advance”.

“What happens if they hate me?” I asked. 

“What happens if your parents hate me.  What happens if they say “what does she see in this cripple?” “

“They can’t, they arranged this” I replied.

“They can.  I don’t think your mother realised either.  Did you hear her voice?”

“Possibly” I agreed “but she can’t do anything about it now.  The deed is done but what about your parents”.

“Of course they are going to like you.  What do you think.  You are gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, in love with me.  What else would they want.”

“Someone Christian?” I asked.  “What happens if your father would prefer you to marry someone Christian?”

“Well he doesn’t care about that type of thing.  They are not what you think.  Just because he is English, lives in the country, he is not a squire or a church deacon or anything like that.  My parents are very, well” he searched for the right type of words.  “They are quite “off the wall type of people.  Like, well aging hippies really.  Not like their kids who are really rather conventional, especially my sister’s husband.  You are in for a treat NOT if he is around.  Pompous shit”.

I had never heard Dan say anything derogatory about anyone or anything so far, but then I had only known him for nearly a day.

“What he would like is for my parents to retire to Florida or somewhere further and he can take over the house and turn himself into a squire and walk around in tweed all day carrying a rifle.  What Samara sees in that twat I don’t know”.

“So you like them do you?” I said smiling.  “Samara is a really lovely name though.  What is your brother’s name?” Daniel had already told me that he had a twin brother.  “His name is Rafael” he answered.

“Oh” I said.  “Your parents chose such amazing names.”

“Yes I suppose they did but it was okay for me but not for Sammy and Raf.  We grew up in a world of Peters, Janes and Williams and I think they felt a bit different.  We all did really”.

“How?” I asked.

“Well in the day my father had a totally conventional job but at the weekend, who knew who would be at our house.  Depending on who was there, there could have been concerts in the garden, naked weekends, all sorts of things.  I didn’t ever invite anyone back from school to visit.  I was always embarrassed and then I learned years later that everyone thought my parents were really “cool” and so much better than their boring parents”.

“Hold on” I said “this weekend, they aren’t going to be walking around naked are they because as much as I want to meet them, I’m not ready for this I’m really sorry”.

“No, don’t worry I promise” he said hugging me.  Even though I promise you I am not exaggerating about them I really guarantee that the only person who will be walking around naked will be you to take a shower or bath, okay?????  Will you still come”.

“You know I will don’t worry”.  I hugged him.  “I just want everything to be great between us.”

“It will.  It is.  It WILL be we just have to ..... give us time.  You will meet my parents, I will meet your parents.  So much will happen in a week and then we will see where we are”.

“You know” I replied, people have arranged marriages, you know meet and decide that they want to get married.  Like each others ideas, morals, etc.  That is considered acceptable.  That is like us.  We met, liked each other a lot and then well who knows”.

“Exactly” he said “but I just want to ask you one question”.

“Ok” I consented “but just come into the kitchen so that I can make coffee.  What you will discover is that coffee is a very big part of my life and I don’t like just instant.  In fact the smell makes me heave.  I like good old fashioned Espresso.”

We moved into the kitchen which was a small, narrow cabin kitchen.  Dan fitted in, just and we just looked at each other.  “You see, things are often difficult for me.  This is nothing, stuck in a narrow space but sometimes I need help, feel vulnerable, get back pain.  It is a lot to ask but do you think you can handle that?”

“Was that what you wanted to ask me or did you change it because you feel claustrophobic in my kitchen?”

“It’s not just that and you know it.  I am just trying to point out ..”

I came and sat on this lap and kissed him “and I have told you that if I mind about those types of things then what type of person am I.  I am not even going to think about this.  When certain situations arise, we can deal with them and that’s it.  If you feel vulnerable, I will understand.  I will try and help and if I don’t, GET RID OF ME”

He looked at me.,

“Please don’t” I asked quietly.  “I am only joking.  I don’t know what to say when you say things like that.  I don’t really know how I would deal with a big problem.  I just hope it would be okay.  I hope, I would expect that I would be supportive but how would I know?  I am a nice person you know but I’m sorry I’ve never been in a position like this before. “

“I know” he said “I’m sorry I just don’t want to let my self open up to you and you can’t cope with the situation, other people’s attitudes, even I don’t know”.

“What were you going to ask me before this though Danny please tell me”.

“Well” he continued “I was going to ask if you would see me exclusively and no one else.  You don’t need to say yes now.”

“Are you asking if I would be your girlfriend” I said in a little girl’s voice.

“I thought you realised when I said I loved you that there was no way in hell that I would see anyone else”.

He hugged me.

Daniel - Part 7

That afternoon I packed a few things into my large suitcase.  In fact I packed quite a few things including the coffee, because as I have said earlier, it really is a big part of my life.

That night for the first time I introduced Dan to some of my friends.  One friend in particular, Lisa was someone who I suppose I would have called my best friend if I was six.  What she was actually was my friend, critic, therapist, shopping assistant and a variety of other things.

She was one of those friends that hadn’t been my friend for ever but once we had become friends was there for good,  probably a bit like Dan.

Quite a few friends of mine were supposed to be meeting up anyway that evening and I asked Dan if he wanted to come.  The thing is, in the past if I had a new boyfriend, I would have kept it private and secret.  If and when I knew that he liked me, I may have introduced him to my friends, but usually, none of my friends would ever meet my boyfriends.

As it was, we were all going out to eat and I supposed it seemed a good way to introduce him to my friends.  Whilst he was in the bathroom that afternoon showering I found time to call Lisa and started to explain about Dan.

“Wait, let’s get it straight.  You went to meet him and they didn’t even tell you that he couldn’t walk.  I can’t believe they did that to you, either of you.  Is he hot at least”?

“He is amazing I said.  I don’t care at all”.

Silence down the phone.  “Wait.  You stayed last night with him.  You must like him.  You never do that.  You slept together?” he asked hurriedly keeping me on the roll of information.

“I did ... so what?”

“Nothing ..... So ...”

“Yes” I said “it was amazing. Just leave it okay.  I’m happy.  Not another word.”  Not another word was spoken.

“What is Lisa like?” asked Dan appearing suddenly from the bathroom draped in towels.  “I kind of think this is worse than meeting your parents.  Your parents actually want you to find someone but best friends?  This can be touch and go in our relationship don’t you think?”

“Are you joking?” I asked and then saw that he was.

“Well she is a nice girl.  Engaged to the same guy for years and then suddenly left him and married in six weeks.  His name is Simon.  You will meet him later.  Nice guy but a bit drippy.  Computer nerd.  Boring but excellent for fixing virus laden lap tops if that is what you have.  So boring though.  And another thing” I said.  “She is only 5 foot 2 and always says that she is slimmer than me.  The thing is she takes a size 12 and I take a size 14.  So what” I cried “I am eight inches taller than her”.

“So in other words, with all these issues she is still your best friend?”

“Yes she is actually and Dan, I won’t have a word said against her.  She has seen me through some hell and sat with me and talked for hours and I would be always willing to do that for her”>

“Of course.  I understand I have a friend like that who I hope you will meet very soon”.

“What “hell” if you don’t mind me asking” he asked.

“Oh nothing, just my engagement crap.  Nothing”.

“It can’t be nothing though.  Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Oh Daniel.  I will tonight may be.  I’m just not in the mood”.

“Do you still think about him?  Are you still hung up on him”?

“It was eight years ago so the answer is no and even if I was, there would be absolutely no point in that”.

“Why?” he asked.

“He is gay” I said briefly “and I didn’t even realise it at the time”.

He started drying himself off.  “I was nearly engaged you know”.

I looked at him.  “You didn’t say”.

“Yes it was a couple of years ago.  Her name was Bella and we saw each other for a couple of years.  She was Italian.”

“What happened?”

“Well nothing much was going on and she wanted to get married and have kids and I couldn’t commit”

“Aren’t you the commitment type” I asked.

“Who said I wasn’t?”

“I just wondered that’s all”.

“I do want commitment so don’t start with me.  It just wasn’t going to happen with her that’s all.  I think I wanted her to prove to myself that I could still get someone.  I did want you.  I wanted you the moment I saw your photo, the moment I saw you in person”.

“Oh baby” I said cuddling him.  “I wanted you from the moment I saw you.  If you hadn’t been the one I was supposed to be meeting, I would have chosen you anyway”.

“I love you” he said hugging me”.

The next morning I woke up next to him in the bed.  His body was draped over mine and I kissed his neck to wake him up.

“Wake up” I said.  “Remember we are going to your parents”.

“Just another five minutes” he said “you go in the shower before me or make some coffee.  Let me sleep”.

I wandered into the kitchen.  This time I had made sure that the kitchen was full of food.  I made Dan come with to the Tescos Express after meeting my friends the night before.

Actually the evening went well.  Dan was as charming as ever.  He spent a while talking to everyone including Lisa’s boring husband who has promised to pop in one evening in the week to look at his lap top.  I offered to cook dinner.  It all seems so, well, settled.

I cooked some eggs, made a pot of coffee and buttered some toast and put it on the table.  I went to wake him up again.

With one arm, he reached up, put his arm around my waist and pulled me into bed.  He pulled me closer to him and kissed me firmly on the mouth.  As our bodies touched I could feel a warm prickly feeling inside.  I sat gently on his hips and started kissing his nipples, twisting and turning my tongue around the tips.  He cried out in delight as I moved my mouth higher and higher up his torso until I reached his right ear, twisting and turning my tongue until he cried out and relaxed.

He lied there, exhausted, happy, spent.  “No one has ever managed to do that for so long” he admitted.  “I really love you, not because of that, because of everything, you know don’t you?”

“Of course I do”.  I replied “I just want to make you happy”.

Daniel - Part 8. I hope that I have got the posting right this time.

Daniels Parents. 

Where can I begin.  We drove out of London through the traffic, motor ways and finally we reached the village that he calls his home town.  This environment was so alien to me that It felt like I was travelling through space or perhaps on some sort of Disney ride.  Firstly there were the one lane roads that were only suitable for a horse and cart and then there were a few newer houses that I suppose were the “new estates” as the villagers call them.

Then came the inner village itself, with a little post office, a convenience shop, small school and a church, phone box in the middle, you know the type of place and then out the other side of the village to “The Manor House”, Daniel Reynold’s home.  Not a Starbucks or Cafe Nero in sight.

 “Agatha Christie Land” I thought looking at the old Manor House that had been in the family for years.  As I looked over the front of the house I imaged Miss Marple would peep out from behind a hedge to come and look at Master Daniel’s new girlfriend.

Finally Daniel tooted his car horn outside two gates which opened almost immediately and we drove down a path to the imposing house.  “Is this your home?” I asked half expecting him to say his parents lived in the cottages or lodge attached to the large house.  I was even expecting him to say that this house had been developed into apartments and his parents owned the penthouse, anything but the truth.

“Yes, this is where I grew up.  What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to say” I replied “It is quite amazing.  It reminds me of Agatha Christie land” I admitted.  “You grew up here, your mum came here from a flat in Vienna?  It is marvellous.  So much land.  No wonder your parents have concerts here and things.  I do love it.”

He drew the car outside the house and we got out of the car.  The front of the door opened, not by a butler as I was expecting but from a petite dark looking woman in a flary 1950s style skirt and t-shirt with a scarf around her neck.

“Sara” she said “How lovely to meet you.  I’ve heard so much about you.  Please call me Eve”.  She hugged me briefly and then actually ran to her son.

“Daniel” she cried “she is even prettier than you explained.  English language was never your strong point.  She is lovely.  Let me look at you”.  She scrutinized his face “yes, you do look happy.  From plenty of sex I should think” she said with a laugh.

I stopped in my path and looked at Daniel who was sheepishly looking at me.  “Did she say what I thought she just said?” I hissed.  He nodded.  “I told you.  They are both nuts”.

We walked into the house.  The inside of the house had obviously not been touched decoration wise since the 1930s, even earlier although unlike the furniture of today, this furniture was obviously built to last.  I looked around and stroked a beautifully carved oak fire place.

“Do you like?” His mother asked.  “Daniel said you liked things with more character.  Not like him.  He likes everything modern.  I suppose it is because he grew up here in 1930s land”.

“I do prefer old things but I am beginning to see the benefit of new things.  With new” I continued, “everything seems less complicated, you know what you are getting.  But this house wasn’t built in the 1930s was it?  It looks much older”.

“Well” his mother answered “there was always a manor house on these grounds but it was very bad condition.  My father in law had the whole thing demolished and rebuilt it in the same style but the inside was very modern in it’s day.  Unfortunately it hasn’t been touched since.  Not because of anything in particular, but” she grimaced “my husband doesn’t like too much change so we’ve left it the way it is.  Luckily it seems okay, well to me anyway”.

The door opened and the man who without any doubt in the world was Daniel’s father walked in.  He stood six foot 3 in his stocking feet which were bare incidently and looked like a much older and “spaced out” version of his son.  In fact, unlike his wife who was smartly dressed, if not in the wrong era, he seemed to be wearing what looked like a tartan pair of Rupert the Bear trousers and bizarrely for a man of his age a t-shirt with Bob Marley upon it.

“Hello son” he said hugging Daniel “and you must be Sara.  Very nice to meet you”.

“Dad” Daniel asked “can I ask why you are dressed like a Rasta Rupert the Bear?”

I held in a laugh

“Well” he said “we had a few people over last night, some of which are still here I should think and the theme of the evening was” he paused “now what was the theme of the evening Eve?”

Eve shot him a look.

“Never mind that” she answered curtly.  “Daniel take Sara upstairs.  The lift is not working again.  I told your father to call someone but he didn’t of course hence it’s not working so you’ll have to manage.  I’ve put you in the same room.  If you are not ready for that yet, put her in Sammy’s old room.  Oh yes and by the way, Sammy and Giles are coming for lunch.  Try not to rub Giles up the wrong way this time please.  It is always much more pleasant when you all get on isn’t it”.

“He’s such a dick though” I heard Danny mutter.

“Sorry babes” Daniel said when we walked out of the room “you are going to have to carry the case upstairs” and with that he seemed to bounce out of his chair and jump up the stairs on his behind.  “And” he continued “bring my chair please???”

I obliged.

“Daniel” I said tentatively “surely you would think that they would make sure that lift is always working.  It is hardly easy for you to do this.”

He shrugged.  “No problem.  Good exercise.   Of course in the event of fire feel free to pull me down the stairs by my legs.  I won’t mind.  As long as we get out.”

We walked into his old bedroom which in the theme of the house hadn’t been changed for years.  “Daniel” I asked “I would have thought that they would have got you a special bed like you’ve got at home and may be that thing above your bed to help you sit up.  This all looks the same as when you were a kid, along with cowboy wallpaper.  Didn’t you ever want them to redecorate.  Weren’t you embarrassed when you were a teenager to take your friends into this room”.

“I don’t know” he shrugged.  “As for the wall paper, they wouldn’t have really thought about decorating, you can see what they are like.  They see wall paper as something to cover plaster walls, like clothing.  Something to keep you warm and as for equipment, my parents thought that it would be better for me to get back to normal.  It was very hard but as you can see I survived”.

I looked at him confused and didn’t want to confess that my mother was already planning on how she would make her lounge more open plan in the hope that if Daniel came for dinner he would be able to move around freely.

“Daniel” I asked as I placed the suitcase on the chair, “how on earth can you move around in this room.  It is absolutely full of stuff, furniture.  I like clutter as you well know but I feel like getting a box and emptying this room to so you can move”.

He manoevered quickly on his bed and held out his arm “don’t you worry” he said “none of this matters.  It could have mattered in the worst possible scenario but I can move around, I always find a way.  Go and look at the shower.  You are not going to be impressed”.

I walked towards the door that he was pointing to.  I opened it and saw a plastic shower stall with an old plastic garden chair in it.  “This is your bathroom?” I asked.

He looked at me.  “Don’t worry.  They aren’t in denial or anything like that.  They love me”.

“I can see that” I replied “they really do but”

“They are a bit “different” – both of them.  I think they are both as bad as each other.  Look don’t get me wrong.  I can manage – thank goodness.  Sit next to me.”

I sat.  “I just want you to be comfortable” he said kissing my neck.  “I want you to try and be comfortable with every aspect of my life”.

“I am” I answered “so far anyway”.

“No” he said.  “I mean with me.  I know it is daunting.  For goodness sake it was daunting for long enough for me and it is my body but I just want some how for you to feel comfortable with me.”

“Baby” I said burrowing my face in his shoulders “we both have to get used to each other.  It is all part of the course.  Plenty to learn about each other, both about ourselves, our bodies everything.  Do you want to know about my medical history then?”

“Well not unless you are going to tell me.  I know what you are going to say.  Why should we have to talk about my body all the time.  It is not necessary etc etc but you have to be aware ... I can’t do the same as everyone else.  I know you don’t care but ...”

“I do care and alright it upsets me that you can’t do everything you want to do and YES you have had a chance to accept it all and NO I only just know you but, let me learn gradually as it comes up please” I said looking at him.  “I am not going to get embarrassed about asking you if you need help, I will just do it – OKAY?”.

He agreed.  “I just want ..”  “I know” I cut off.  “Help me unpack the clothes a bit and then we can go downstairs.  I want to see all your favourite places.

Daniel - Part 9

We quickly put away our clothes from the suitcase and I changed into a pair of jeans.

“Okay” I asked “do you want to go down first and I’ll bring your chair? – What is easier?”

“Fine” he said ”whatever”.  So down we went.

I did think the whole situation was strange about the lift and of course the horrible “mildew” shower cubicle.  His parents had had years to accept their son’s limitations but they were not helping at all I had thought.  Of course, Daniel being Daniel, was just accepting the situation and just getting on with it so may be in his parents’ strange way, it was working out.

When we got downstairs, his parents seemed to be sitting in a lounge type reception area on very old sofas which were covered with rugs, covering rugs, covering rugs to hide the old thread bare furniture.  “Well” his mother said “would you like a cup of tea before you go out?”

“Do you have coffee?” I asked hopefully.  “Oh yes” she replied “but there is no instant in this house I’m afraid.  We all like our coffee thick and black”.

“Well that is a relief” Daniel answered.  “She is not good without her caffeine”.  We all went into the kitchen to sit down.  We all sat around a large scrubbed oak table whilst his mother busied herself with the coffee.

“What are you planning to do today.  Please do be back for afternoon tea.  Samara will come with the children for a while.  Raf said if you want to come in two weeks, he will meet you here”.

“I have already spoken to him” replied Daniel.  “Is er is Giles coming today?”

“Of course he is” she answered irritably “and I don’t start about him.  May be he wouldn’t have been my first choice for Sammy but she loves him.  She has children with him.  In fact she hasn’t ever said a negative word about which is more than what I can say about you and your brother.  Not you Sara” she quickly added “he hasn’t not as yet complained about you”.

“Well that is a relief” I admitted.  “What is wrong with Giles?”

“He is a very “straight” character” she replied “and leave it at that.  Your boyfriend doesn’t like him.  What was it you said the last time? “A patronising git” I think you called him”.

“I was just sticking up for my sister” he said grimacing slightly “he is hellishly chauvinistic, he is ...”

“Enough” said his mother “just drink your coffee and go out for a walk and show Sara all your old haunts.  Sammy has to live with him – not you.  It is not like you socialise with him.  You only see him when you come here and that isn’t very often.  What do you do at the weekends anyway?  You could come home a bit more often.”

“Yes I could” he said sighing.  “May be I would a bit more often if Sammy didn’t come with him and if you fixed the lift.”

She glared at him, served them the coffee and walked into the other room.

Later as we were leaving the house I said “you know it is not her fault about Giles.  She just doesn’t want to rock her daughter’s marriage.  She is just trying to keep out of it.  I don’t particularly like my brother in law whom I know you are going to remind me that you haven’t met, or my sister, or my mother or anyone.”

“Can I meet them?”

“Yes – next week” I confirmed.  “Don’t look at me that way suggesting that I’m ashamed of you.  I know that “guilt” look that you do.  Don’t waste that on me.  Keep that for Giles”

He pulled me on his lap.

“I love you” he said “that’s why”.  I stared into his eyes and kissed him.  I could feel magnetic waves reverberating up and down my body.  “Danny” I repeated “I love you so much I just don’t want to spend a moment apart from you.”

“Move in with me” he suddenly said impulsively.

“Don’t be silly” I said “It is too soon”.

“It isn’t.  You compared us to the religious people you keep telling me about having a “shidduch”.  You said that they realized they wanted to be together and then learned to love each other.  Why can’t we do that?”

“We can” I answered “but I don’t want to spoil anything that’s why”.   I thought for a moment, “why don’t we spend as much time as possible together and I’ll stay in the week most days and then we’ll see how it goes.  You might hate it?”

“I won’t.  I work late a lot of the time and when I come back you can make me a lovely dinner, wash all my clothes and I can just lie there with my feet up”.

I looked at him to check if he was teasing me.  “No, I think you will find that YOU will cook for me as I will be a guest in your house.  I may have washed your clothes once, and ironed them I might add but ....”  He kissed me.  “Okay we’ll see”.

We walked away from the house, through the back garden which seemed never ending until at the very bottom of the garden, near the fence and brambles was a very old and wide tree.

“You see this tree” he said “this is the tree that we used to spend all our summers in.  At the top is our tree house and according to my brother, this is the one thing on our land that is in great order and doesn’t need fixing.  This, so he tells me is the only part of this “fine estate” that doesn’t need to be rebuilt”.

I looked up.  Up high I could see a large wooden construction with a horrible swinging ladder made of thick rope.

“What did you do in there?” I asked.

“Well we used to hold meetings, talk, have little parties, snog with our girl friends ...  I don’t know.  I think we used to fancy ourselves as characters from Enid Blyton books.  Look I’ll show you”.

And with that, he swang on the rope and manoevered himself up to the top of the tree, his legs swinging uncontrollably in the wind.

“Daniel” I screamed.  “How are you going to get down”.  I looked around for help.

“You are going to help me get down” he called back.

“How?” I asked “I can’t use that rope and I’m scared of heights” I yelled.

“Use the ladder” he said.  I looked over at the ladder swaying steadily in the wind.  I looked around for help and as I saw no one about I found myself carefully and much slower than Daniel had with the single rope, climbing up the ladder stairs.

A few seconds later I found myself sitting next to Daniel on a dusty wooden floor.

“How could you do that to me?” I asked.  “I am petrified of heights.  How are we both going to get down” I cried.

He kissed me gently on the lips.  “Look around” he said.

I looked around.   He was sitting crouched on the floor next to a little cloth and on the cloth were two wine glasses and a bottle of wine.

“How did that get here?” I asked.

“I asked for it to be put up here” he said

I looked at him blankly.

“The thing is” he said “when I was a kid, a teenager really, I thought, I knew that I wanted to propose to the girl I loved up here in my favourite place”.

I tried to interrupt him.

“No. Let me carry on” he continued.  “and then obviously when I had my accident it wasn’t going to be possible.  As time went on, I realised that I could climb a rope and of course, “here we are”.”

I looked at him silently “so what I want to ask at this early stage in our relationship is because I can’t imagine myself with anyone else in the whole, wide world and because I love you more than words can say, “will you marry me?””

I fell into his arms.  “Of course I will marry you” I said “but not yet.  Let’s just be together for a while to make sure”.

Daniel - Part 10

Whenever I told people in the future where Daniel proposed to me they asked me how we got down from the tree.  He got down by shimmying down the rope in a quick adept fashion.  I got down the hill by crying at the top for twenty minutes, swearing at Daniel for putting me through it in the first place and then finally and ridiculously jumping rather than wobbling down from the swishing ladder.

How I didn’t get hurt was probably fate but I did land safely in a sodden patch of grass and was totally covered with orange, clay-like mud.

“Well” he asked.  “I have never met such a coward in all my life.  Does this mean you’re not going to go skiing with me?”

I looked at him.  “Danny, when have I ever said I do things like this?  I will do swimming, with you, running, gym but nothing to do with heights.  If you don’t want to marry me now ..” I said half smiling.

He pulled me towards him.  “If I go skiing there are plenty of things you could do, with or without me and I don’t do cold.  I am just teasing you.  Instead we can do water skiing ....”.

“No” I quickly replied “you can do water skiing and I think I’ll sit in the boat and feel sick.  I don’t do things like that.  I am a coward as you are discovering.”

“So” he said changing the subject.  “Do we keep this a secret or do we tell the parents?”

“What do you think?” I asked “Do you know Daniel, I am still shaking.  Coward or what”.

“Well then, let’s just keep it our secret for a while and then we’ll tell them.  What do you think?”

“Yes” I said hugging him.  “No more heights please.  I hate them”.

“I had noticed” he said.

We carried on walking towards the village.

As I walked, and Daniel wheeled, I softly put my arm around his neck.  “I will miss that” I thought sadly.  Walking with his arms around me, lovingly, normally.  “Never mind” I thought.  “Better like this than not at all.  At least we love each other”.

We walked closer to the house.

“I am going to go straight in the shower” I told him.  I looked at him and he was staring at the house.  “What is the matter now?” I asked.

“They are arriving, look”, he said pointing to a somewhat old Mercedes estate car.  Out from the front seat was obviously Giles, shortish, plumpish and quite, well without being nasty, unendearing.  Next two kids jumped out of the car along with a golden Labrador.

“Where is your sister?” I asked.  “She’s there”, he answered. 

Slowly Samara opened the car door and stood up.  She looked about my height, tall but on a very narrow thin frame.  As she stood up, I realised that her thin jacket was unbuttoned revealing the most enormous stretched stomach.

“Is she pregnant?” I asked “well I mean obviously she is.  She is so thin with this enormous stomach”.

“Yes” he said wearily.  “Unfortunately they can’t keep up with what they have and now she’s pregnant again”.

“Isn’t Giles working?” I asked. 

“Oh yes he’s working alright but I don’t think either of them is very good with money.  Last year she threatened to walk out of him and I was so relieved.  I just thought “thank goodness” and then I don’t know what happened.  She went back to him and became quickly pregnant”.

“Oh” I said.  “Did she tell you why she wanted to leave”?

“They had no money etc etc, they both over spent.  I told her to come and live with me for a while until she sorted herself out.  I said that I would help her.  I think she was relieved but then ... I don’t know”.

“Is that why you hate Giles?”

“Not really” he admitted.  “He is not good enough for my sister.  He is a patronising, sexist shit of a person and by the way, he always “comes on to my girlfriends”.

“Well quite honestly” I said slightly shocked “when you look at him and look at you, surely none of your girl friends would have wanted him????”

“What a great compliment you have just given me” he said smiling and kissing me lightly on the cheek.  “I don’t know.  Not really I suppose.  He makes vile comments.  You will see”.

“Does he do it in front of you?”

“And my sister.  She just ignores him”.

“Well what did your girlfriends say?”

“A few just laughed nervously, Bella threw a glass or wine at him, but I don’t know.  I don’t make a habit of bringing girls home you know?”

“Only special ones, not only ones you have proposed to?” I asked hopefully.

“Well it may interest you to know that YOU are the only girl I have proposed to.  What do you think of that?”

“Well I am pleased.  Honoured.  Of course lots of men have proposed to me.  Lots.”

“Really?”

“Of course” I said.  “So many - NOT.  That is why my mother had to arrange a blind date for me.  What do you think?  People were tripping over themselves to get to me.”

“Well I would happily trip up to get to you in fact; I would probably have to insist upon it”.

“Well that is you of course” I said cuddling him affectionately.  “Let’s go in so that I can see Giles.  Do you realise that if he doesn’t say something offensive to me I will be very, very insulted.” 

“I won’t” he said as we walked towards the house.

 By the time we walked through the door, I could feel the commotion as the Labrador and the children who were chasing him, rushed by.

“Uncle Dan, Uncle Dan” shouted the two kids running to him.

“Hello Princess” said Dan cuddling the girl.  “Hello Marcus” he said shaking hands formerly with the little boy.  “This is my friend Sara.  This is Emily and Marcus”.

“Nice to meet you” I said smiling at the kids.  “How old are you both?”

“I am seven” said the Emily “and I am also seven” said Marcus.

“Oh, you’re twins” I replied “I didn’t realise because you are a little smaller” I told Marcus.  This of course was the understatement of the year.  Marcus looked at least two years younger.

“I was born first” answered Emily “and then mummy got pregnant again straight away and Marcus was born much too early”.

“Yes” said Marcus.  “I was in an incubator for lots of months and then they took me out and had to feed me very carefully.  We are still in the same class at school though AND” he added “I’m a much better reader than Emily”.

“You are not” said Emily and she reached over and thumped him in the stomach and then it continued.  He went to chase her and the dog followed.

Eve walked through the door.  “Sara” she beckoned.  “Excuse all of this.  It is always like this when the children are here.  Come and meet my Samara.  I followed her and walked in the kitchen.  Samara who close up looked more tired and washed out than seemed healthy considering she was supposed to be “blooming”.

“Hello” she said struggling to get up.  “I’m Samara.  Please call me Sammy”.  She had a pretty face I thought nothing like Daniel or anyone else in the family that I could see.  I liked her clothes too which were definitely not maternity sacks but her usual clothes just stretched to their extreme over her inflated balloon of a stomach.

Giles walked into the room.  Closer up I found myself a little disappointed.  He didn’t seem to be the pompous idiot that I had been promised.

“Nice to meet you Sarah” he said shaking my hand.

“It is Sara” I corrected “and very nice to meet you too”.

“Oh you spell it without the “h”” he said “yes I had an ex-girlfriend that did that but she still pronounced it Sarah.  What do you do, I mean by the way of work?”

“I help run a cleaning company” I find myself telling him.

“You clean peoples’ houses?” he spluttered.

“No,” I said irritated.  “I arrange for other people to clean other peoples’ houses.  That is my job.  I also arrange nannying and au pairs and on the odd occasions, maternity nurses if you are interested.”

“Oh” he said shaking his head.  “We don’t need a maternity nurse.  Sammy doesn’t work.  She will get up to feed the baby.  Last time of course we didn’t have that problem.  Marcus was in the special unit for months.  We didn’t have to do anything.”

“You almost seem pleased about that” Daniel added.

“What?” Giles said

“That Marcus was in the special unit and you didn’t have to hire a maternity nurse or get up for him in the middle of the night.”

Eve looked around from the sink and I said

“Eve, can I help you make tea for everyone and then would it be alright if I go for a quick shower.  I fell in a large puddle of mud and I’m covered”.

“Of course” Eve said relieved at the change of subject.  She glared at Dan.  “Run up now and I’ll have a cup of tea waiting for you when you are finished.  Why don’t you go too Dan.  That tap is a bit temperamental.  You may have to turn it for her as it is so stiff”.

Off we went upstairs.

We went upstairs with the usual procedure of Daniel hauling himself up the stairs.  We got to the bedroom and clothes the door.  I started to take off my clothes.  He sat on the bed and opened up his arms for me to hug him.

“I love the feel of your body” he told me “even if I can only feel half”

I looked at him.  “I know it is hard, especially around here.  Why don’t we just sleep downstairs?  The whole thing seems pointless coming up and down the stairs like that”.

“No” he said decidedly.  “This is MY bedroom and I want us to sleep in it.”

“Fair enough” I replied “but why is the lift broken.  They know you visit”.

“It is just her way of saying that I don’t visit enough.  If I visit more often I am sure they will get it fixed”.

“Why don’t you send someone to fix it then?” I asked.  I looked at him.  “What is the matter?  Is it Giles?  He wasn’t that bad.  A little pompous.  He didn’t say much really, not yet anyway?”

“Not him” he sighed.  “Me”.

“You? Have you changed your mind about us?” I asked not really believing it.

“No” he said stroking my hair “I’m just having a moment that’s all.  |Go in the shower.”

“What “moment?”” I asked.

“I wanted to walk along the fields with my arm around you not NEXT to you.  I would have helped you down that damned tree house.  Not letting you jump and into mud.  I would have stood in front of our house and held you in my arms and kissed you and told you I loved you.”

I paused for a moment trying to think how to react.

“I know baby and the truth is that I would have loved those things too I’m not going to lie to you but we still have each other.  Better this than nothing and we have so much.  We are so lucky.  They introduced us.  We even liked each other.  We got on so well together immediately.  We have sooooo much.  This is new to you.  Being in love and everything.  We will just get used to it – PROMISE”.

I realised that he was crying a little.  I could feel warm tears trickling down both of our cheeks as he hugged me.  I kissed the rivulets of salty water away and told him I loved him more than anything in the whole entire world.

We sat for a while hugging and then suddenly he pulled away.  “Come on” he said “let’s lighten the load and try and get this bloody shower to work”.

We walked into the bathroom which was clean, if not anything else.  “Pull the chair away, I will try to turn on the shower and I will jump away and you shower” he said positively.  He tried to twist the tap twice to no avail and then suddenly we were both covered in icy erratic spurts of water.

The shower didn’t actually get any warmer but I coped.  “I’m Israeli I told him.  I’m not a “whinging pom”.  I’ll survive.”

“Do you know?” he told me with exasperation “that if this wasn’t my parents’ house I would check into a hotel.”

“Daniel” I said rubbing myself with an extremely old threadbare towel.  “I would really like us to visit here more often but why don’t you just phone someone to fix the lift and get a plumber to come later.  Look in the yellow pages.  Apart from the fact that if we don’t shower we are going to stink, if there is a fire here, you can’t get out of here quickly”.

“I will” he agreed googling on his phone for an emergency plumber.  “They are not going to like this though” he said dialling a number.

By the time we were downstairs sitting at the kitchen table again, a local plumber was knocking at the door.  Daniel asked his father to deal with it and he did reluctantly.

“Well” said his mother as she served the Sunday lunch.  It was in fact lunch even though it was served at four in the afternoon.  “At least the shower is fixed.  I didn’t realise it would only take a minute”.

“Tell her about the lift engineer” I told Daniel.

“Tomorrow” he said tentatively “I am going to get a lift engineer to come and fix the lift.  I will get them to call you and make an appointment.  I will sort out the money so you don’t need to worry.”

“I’m not worried” his mother snapped “I just haven’t got around to getting it fixed.  Your father used it to take some furniture upstairs and it is stuck between floors with the drawers still in there.  He had to climb out through the top”.

“What do you mean there is no lift?” Samara asked.  “Mum, how can you expect Daniel to be comfortable?  No wonder he hardly visits”.

“No, it’s okay really Sammy” he said hurriedly “it’s just a bit  ..... Whatever.”  Samara glared at her mother.  “I know mum it’s very funny how unorganised and scatty you and dad is but this is serious”.

“Yes” added Giles.  “You must accept that he isn’t going to suddenly jump out of his chair and walk, isn’t that right Daniel”.

Daniel glared at him.  “Yes that’s right Giles.  That is not going to happen but if it suddenly did ....”

“Anyway” I said changing the subject “at least it will be fixed because Danny said there is a music festival or something nearby in a couple of weeks.  If it is alright, we might come back then?”

Eve seemed to relax a bit.  “I would love that.  It’s not that we don’t want him to use the lift.  It is that I just didn’t get around to fixing it.  What must you think of us”?

I saw Sammy and Daniel look at each other.  The children ran in and sat at the table.  Both of them were full of mud from playing in the garden and they sat straight down at the table.  No one was telling them to wash their hands.  They just started to eat.