Begin Again—Table of Contents

Part I 

Part II 

Begin Again—Part I

Part I
October—18 Months After

Alice’s husband had left her.

It wasn’t a secret, but it wasn’t something she’d broadcast either. Some things were meant to be mourned privately. This was one of those things. Yet somehow, everyone and their goddamned mother seem to know.

Every time it came up, Alice felt the shame of it all roll over her again, hot and sick, like it was all her fault. She supposes, most days, that it is all her fault. She is, and always will be, the reason he decided to leave. It’s a fucking joke that she sometimes pretends—pretends she could have stopped him.

So, when Patti Dobbs says it, Alice isn’t surprised. Not really. She feels as if someone has taken the back of her head and slammed her face down on the desk between them. But, surprised?

No.

Begin Again—Part II

 Part II 

April—24 Months After 

Alice wakes up with a terrible headache. They’ve been normal since the concussion. She’d lied a bit to Patti during her interrogation back in October, but that really didn't matter now. The concussion was more serious than the doctors initially thought. She’d had memory issues, pain, confusion, exhaustion. They prescribed her medicine. It barely made a dent. She couldn’t shake the knowledge that severe depression, when left untreated, had strikingly similar symptoms.

She snoozes her alarm four times before she finally sits up and runs her hands through her long dark hair. It’s 10am, but she wants to roll over and dive deeper under the covers and sleep for the rest of the day. It wasn’t unusual for her to do since she lost her job back in February. She’d been tutoring Spanish to kids in her building to make up some of the lost wages, but it was barely enough to cover her rent. She is flat out broke, even with the money she’d had to borrow from her parents. She closes her eyes for a long minute and takes a deep breath.

But today is his birthday, and today she’s going to get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, and put a fucking smile and some makeup on her face because today isn’t about her—it’s about the man who ripped her heart out who she happens to still be married to.